A Dream is a dream is a dream

There's a reason that I have not been posting any progress for a month. Basically, the bank came back with bad news -- the appraiser thinks I will be over-building in that neighborhood. It came as a surprised to all of us because we've been speculating ourselves regarding the progress in that area and thought it is up and coming and that there is potential for the neighborhood to turn around. Apparently the risk is still too high for me. I asked for a second opinion and the other appraiser also said the same thing. Then I consulted a realtor and he seems to think this investment is only for those who are more aggressive.
The message is loud and clear, that before I go in too deep and can't get myself out of the hole, I have to accept the fact that this dream project will not become a reality. At least not on this lot.
When I started documenting this project, I envisioned it from start till the end, and certainly, this is not the end that I had in my mind. I terminated my contract on the lot, and told Paul to save the so finely tuned floor plan for the future, whenever and wherever it may be.
I am very disappointed because we have come so far into the project. It is hard for me to stop dreaming about it all of a sudden. I still haven't put away the piles of reference materials and the rolls of drawings and paper in my study. However, I enjoyed every moment of the design process. I love sitting by Paul, watching him sketch, and brainstorming with him, dreaming about it. It was a great learning process for me. An expensive one nevertheless.
I guess after all a dream doesn't have to always come true. A dream can be just a dream. If you're a dreamer as I am, there will always be another dream.